Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Plan 9 from AGW

The latest post from QandO on climate change is a must read because it has such a varied range of humor within it.

My favorite was this comment by guest docjim505, which deserves to be re-produced in its entirety:
  • I mentioned this to my fiancee, who isn't a scientist (commercial real estate lawyer). Because she isn't a scientist, she didn't stop to sensibly place her trust in people who ARE scientists but instead asked a question that a REAL scientist - who understands the science behind the scientific consensus of the science of global warming - would NEVER ask because REAL scientists don't question the science of global warming, which is a scientifically settled question:
  • If we put lots of iron in the oceans, won't that have some negative effect?
  • Now, I AM a scientist, so I quickly quashed her impertinent, uninformed, unscientific question. After informing her that scientists don't ask questions about matters that have been settled by consensus in science, I told her that questioning scientists and their ideas is just plain silly. Why, people who are scientists are SMART. We go to scientist school and have lots of letters behind our names to show people that we are scientists and therefore shouldn't be questioned. Especially by people who AREN'T scientists. Real scientists, that is: her BA is Political Science, which isn't really science (she got angry when I said that). That's not to say that political scientists can't AGREE with real scientists on global warming. Every intelligent person knows that it is real because scientists say so. And scientists tell us that we've got to put iron in the water to save us from global warming, so I say:
  • Go for it.
  • Everybody, go get a file and a chunk of iron and start filing. When you get a pile of iron filings, drive to the nearest ocean and start dumping. Better still, WALK. But don't breathe out while you're walking, because scientists tell us that the CO2 you exhale causes global warming. So, if you breathe out, it will cancel out the effects of dumping the iron into the sea. See? And if you REALLY want to follow the scientific method to stop global warming (which scientists agree is going to destroy the earth within ten years... or some other time in the future), use that file on your SUV. But only the iron parts. Because if you dump other stuff into the ocean, you would be POLLUTING it. And that would be bad. Scientists say so.
  • And we all know that scientists are NEVER wrong.
  • Except political scientists. Sometimes. / sarc
  • I have to wonder what credentials one has to have to be a journalist these days. Is a very low IQ sufficient, or have you actually got to have a lobotomy or genuine brain damage?
And for those not wanting to indulge their humerus, the latest summation by Christopher Monkton sticks to the facts, is written with unerring clarity and is resplendent with fine graphics as usual (also, it is available in pdf format for download).

Humor, facts: add chocolate and you have the perfect prescription for overcoming ecomyths!