Thursday, April 24, 2008

Britain in 2030

The following piece of fiction was inspired by these two news items: a local council in Britain prosecuting a father of four for exceeding the allowable garbage total by 4 inches in his bin (one bin fits all); and, this post on the likelihood that the world could experience a rapid decline of temperatures as a prelude to the next Ice Age (scientifically more certain than Gore's global warming prophesy).
World News, April 2030
  • Court fines Briton for refusing delivery of car
A British court fined a man in Britain today for refusing to take delivery of his government-issued luxury car.  The man claimed that although he was married, he did not have children and did not need a car because he "bikes" everywhere.  Jazeera Smith told World News " I don't need it.  I don't work, I get my hemp using my bicycle and I shop locally.  I have no where to park the car and I don't even know how to drive!".
The Oxford-London Council prosecuted the man under provision of the 2028 Carbon Emissions Act which mandates that each British citizen receive a state-issued luxury vehicle every five years as part of their contribution to stem global cooling.  Spokesperson for the Council, Suzi Airhead stated "This is just disgraceful.  I mean the man hardly consumes anything!  Its very un-British.  Doesn't he appreciate the crisis we are facing.  The cars are lovely and despite some early problems, Leyland has assured us they will last the full five years.  Besides, now that there are no more cows left, we really have to pull our weight and generate lots more carbon emissions if we are to keep the ice at bay -- or at least stop it at the Scotland freedom fence.  People like this are an embarrassment."
In its ruling, the Court stated that not knowing nor wanting to drive was not an acceptable reason for refusing delivery of the car.
see also:
  • Branson comes out of retirement: offers to drive a Leyland to France "to show it can be done!"
  • Latest ice surge threatens vital oil sands in Canada: OPEC to meet next week
  • President Chelsea Clinton to accept Nobel Video Prize for "Death of an Iceman"